May 30
  • Written By Scott Drochelman

  • #143 – Benjamin Heldfond

    #143 - Benjamin Heldfond

    Sobriety Tools for a Happy Divorce

    Benjamin Heldfond grew up in San Francisco where he lived through a high conflict divorce. He internalized the breakup as a signal that he was bad. The experience was like Miracle Grow for his growing drinking and heroin addiction which eventually led to a flatline overdose that saw him clinically dead. But even that didn’t lead to his sobriety.

    Ben eventually entered treatment, found help and 6 years into his recovery, moved to Florida with the woman he would eventually marry. The move carried a great deal of resentment towards his wife which manifested in Ben living as a dry drunk without any accountability for his actions. This led to turmoil in the relationship. The two had a son together and divorced bitterly shortly after.

    Only after reflection did Ben see that left unchecked he threatened to repeat the same painful pattern he’d lived as a child. The realization moved him to call his therapist and sponsor. 

    Ben eventually co-authored the book, “Our Happy Divorce”, with his Ex-Wife Nikki DeBartolo, which told the story of how their journey through divorce eventually brought them closer together.

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